Mortality

Mortality -- When we were young I didn't think about so much. But when I got in my late 30s it bothers me so much

Maybe I am not the usual guy, my life is just began I didn't experienced a lot it doesn't equates with my age, and that's the problem, somebody could say that I am bold or I am just stupid, never had a clue what things I get around with. It is shit.

I am happy now with this blog why because I could back it up when something wrong happened with the servers. What I have said before -- This is some sort of project immortality. I was fond of reading things and I learned from it, some makes me wise, some made me stupid . I would be happy if I knew there would be someone would read this after a 100 years.

Torturing myself reading old journal

"feel guilty i feel something must wrong I left people who seems care to me and one of them is Mr______ I just felt I had to go. I had to get away from them. I felt like it is more mature if a leave them and cling on them and never bother them anymore. I felt like it is for my own good I wish I am not wrong. If I am wrong it feels like I have to regret it because I made a wrong decision. Actually I am the one who is no more. not mr. _____"  - 7/11/11

Oh It's 11 years ago, there's a ton of shits there and I can't even publish here even although I'm pretty sure there's a slim chance that people I know would read it or even someone read it, man it's blogger.com. It pains me every time I read it. I know and we know we don't last here forever It's some kind of my project immortality just to send message to future in unusual way. We don't know if the server of google archive is good enough if this would last a hundreds of years, we don't know. Hello 2122, I write this the Pandemic that your  grandpa and grandma told you is almost over, the world almost stop for 3 years, it is almost over but there is war happening in

   Europe specifically in Ukraine as I wrote now, the Russians invade Ukraine in Feb 24, 2022 and the war is ongoing, I don't know if there would be a nuclear war. I don't know. But I HOPE the humanity is better after 100 years, I hope the humanity learned its lessons that dictators won't anything good for humanity. for now Democracy is the only way for peaceful world                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Some songs gives me a mandela effect

 

 Whenever I heard the song "1979" by Smashing Pumpkins, it makes me reminisce some of my childhood years and the worst or the best part it makes me remember the memories that I never had. There is something with that song the guitar riff is so nostalgic.  That exactly what this song means.

 There are tons of song I could say that gives same effects some are some kind of euphoric, especially in my teen years. We like those songs to wild punk riff when we are younger and become jaded with it when become older. It happened the same thing to those older people we know. There are some magical with those song for teens. Some kind of mindfuck frequencies. I don't know music is still mysterious.

Walang kadala-dala

   Maybe the NET is one of the safest place to put my journal if I want to keep it, but not the safest place when it comes to privacy. Before, I've lost a nearly decade journal entries and swore to myself that I would be careful, but it happened again just a couple weeks ago I lost an entire works that I've been doing since 2015, because I am a security freak, I forgot its passphrase to open the file and it sucks. Nothing is permanent. 

  I haven't doing any journal since the pandemic hits (Corona virus, aka Wuhan Virus,  aka Ncov-19 and aka covid 19), the experts say nowadays that pandemic is almost over, but there is war currently happens in eastern Europe, specifically in Ukraine. It started in Feb 24, 2022 it is on going as I write this.

 The history repeats itself as they say. We cannot control people stupidity.

BLOGGING REVISITED

I started writing blog around 2005 and I took it down in 2015. Just like a itch that needed to be scratched
I found myself writing this post again. I have no specific subject anything under the sun. It is quite unhealthy because my writings is just fall under the umbrella of ranting whatsoever that gives me pain in ass